


Scale of One to Ten

by ChestnutBrumby



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (mentions) - Freeform, F/M, Frenemies, Infinity War spoilers, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Post Ragnarok, Spoilers, Who knows what Loki's up to, pre infinity war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 18:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15125324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChestnutBrumby/pseuds/ChestnutBrumby
Summary: Loki is bored and comes to bother Bruce





	Scale of One to Ten

Bruce felt first terrified, and in short order remarkably wary when Loki came to sit beside him voluntarily. Not... not too close, not enough to make it weird, or make Bruce worry he was about to have a knife plunged into his spleen. But close enough that those cutting blue eyes of Loki's certainly demanded something of Bruce.   
  
As if it wasn't enough he was actually on a space ship, far away from Earth having spent two years living as Hulk. He hadn't yet gotten used to the faint metallic scent that permeated everything here, or the way silence clung in a way that he had never known at home. Now the God of Mischief was actively seeking him out for purposes Bruce was pretty sure he didn't want to know about.   
  
"Scale of one to ten?" Bruce asked warily. This had become his and Loki's routine on the rare occasions they did speak to one another. The full question was _on a scale of one to ten, how homicidal are you feeling today?_  
  
Bruce wasn't quite sure why Loki played along and actually answered him, except to suspect he was trying to further engage Bruce's logical and rational human side and keep the Other Guy placid and therefor less likely to pummel him into a bloody pulp.   
  
"I'm about a four today. I did choke out some frustrations upon that horrifying insect pet of Korg's." Loki replied nonchalantly, but the way his gaze flicked over Bruce made the man uneasy (more so than usual) and he felt his foot tapping nervously. The boots he was wearing were too large for him - human feet were on the small size compared to Asgardians.   
  
Bruce thought about forcing a laugh but it probably would have come out like a strangled hyena cackle, so he just sighed and turned to look Loki in the eye. For about three seconds, which was progress.   
  
"Loki. What do you want?"   
  
"Entertainment." The Asgardian prince replied promptly. Bruce winced.   
  
"I am very very certain I would not be into anything you would consider entertaining."  
  
"I daresay that's so."    
  
Bruce rubbed his palm over his face. "Please Loki, just answer the question."   
  
"Why do you always assume that I desire something?"   
  
Bruce laughed tiredly. "I don't assume."   
  
"I was being honest."   
  
"That'd be a first."   
  
"I mean it. Usually I have an entire planet to terrorize. Stuck on this ship I fear I might loose my mischief altogether, given I gave Thor my word to be on my best behaviour."   
  
"What did he promise you to get you to agree to that, his firstborn?" Bruce asked warily, almost afraid of the answer. Loki laughed, but turned it into a grimace.   
  
"I suppose his firstborn will be to that Jane Foster creature."   
  
Even mild-mannered Bruce felt a flash of anger at that. Before his departure from Earth he had got along well with Jane, and had spent many fascinating evenings talking science with her. It was a relief, to unwind with somebody who understood his language yet made no demands of him.   
  
"Hey, don't hate." He protested, half amazed when Loki didn't summon a flash of green magic and turn him into a squirrel on the spot for defending Jane. "They aren't even together anymore."   
  
Loki rolled his eyes, such a human gesture that Bruce stared in surprise for a moment before catching himself. "Oh please. He still keeps a dozen of your human-- what are they? Photographs, of her. He speaks of her to anyone who will listen. And all he wants is to reach earth upon this wretched ship and prove to Jane that he's worthy-  not of Asgard. Of her." Loki sighed, sounding truly frustrated.   
  
Bruce put his head on one side. "You really think he wants her back?"   
  
"I don't think." Loki deadpanned back at him. "Perhaps it will be a relief upon us all. Thor is depressing to a six-furlong radius when he's moping."   
  
"You do care about him." Bruce observed, still more surprised than anything. With everything he had seen Loki do, it did come as something of a shock.   
  
Loki rose gracefully to his feet and clapped Bruce warmly on the shoulder. "If you tell anybody, I'll deny it." Bruce almost smiled, until Loki flashed his own very wide and very sinister smile. "And kill you, naturally, was that not implied?"   
  
Yeah, Bruce recalled now why this guy's brain really was a bag full of cats.   
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Oki this one was short as both Loki and Bruce are characters I'm not hugely confident writing for, so any feedback is super appreciated! This one came about as I flesh out some ideas for After Infinity War and it just got me thinking, Loki sounds so familiar when he says the 'We have a Hulk' line, like he knew Bruce would be in on the action, even though he doesn't strictly know Bruce that well on a personal level. SO I got this idea that Loki and Bruce would have had to have had a conversation or two between leaving Asgard (sob) and Thanos attacking (SOB). 
> 
> ... I miss Loki. Right from the start he always was my very favourite MCU villain, and I was always so proud of him when you saw him standing up for Thor, or crouched protectively over Jane, even though you KNEW he'd backstab everybody moments later. That was just Loki, you know, and we all loved him for his flaws.


End file.
